Who Should go on the next Quibbler Quest?
Quibbler Quest
The Case of the Missing Waffles
It was approximately 9:23 PM on the night of June 2nd when I found myself in the Staff Room of Hogwarts, grading assignments for my History of Magic class. I popped a couple of Eggo waffles into the toaster on the counter, an extra device courtesy of the Muggle Studies class, and got back to my grading as I waited on the delicious snack to heat up. You see, despite being a witch, I hate the condensation that appears on my fingers when I use a Hot-Air Charm to heat up the frozen waffles myself. Therefore, whenever a muggle toaster is nearby, I prefer to heat my waffles the old-fashioned way as opposed to using magic. Being easily distractible, it was only natural that my attention was stolen by the sound of a racket in the hallway, prompting me to forget all about my waffles and go explore the source of the noise.
In the hallway, I discovered a student had accidentally gotten an Anti-Gravity Hat lodged onto their head, and it took me a few minutes to safely levitate them to the floor and remove the prank item. Of course, feeling bad for the poor student, I neglected to deduct any house points – and it was then that I realized I had left my waffles back in the Staff Room!
“Oh dear,” I mumbled to myself as I turned around. “What am I going to do with myself?”
However, when I tugged on the door to the Staff Room, it was locked! I did not recall latching it completely shut behind me when I left to investigate the hallway, but I supposed it could have happened on its own. I spoke the password and the door swung open, the delicious smell of freshly-toasted waffles wafting through the air as a warm welcome…
When I made my way over to the toaster, however, the sight before me made me shriek in horror: my waffles were gone! What was worse was they were the last waffles in the Eggo carton, meaning I would have to run to the store to get more! What sort of person would take my waffles – my last waffles – just as they had reached the perfect level of crispiness?
To say I was horrified would be an understatement. In fact, I was fighting back tears! I had been grading papers for hours, and the only thing I wanted was a nice, warm, waffle to keep me going. Yet, someone had stolen it in the mere minutes I was out in the hallway!
The thought made me pause; all the signs clicked together.
This was a premeditated waffle theft!
Someone had intentionally stuck an Anti-Gravity Hat onto the head of that student, knowing I would go into the hallway to investigate. They then entered the Staff Room while I was distracted to get away with stealing the waffles unnoticed! Their only mistake was shutting the door all the way after they left; without the presence of this one clue, I might have chalked up my missing waffles to a prank spell set on the toaster! But now, I was quite certain that this was not a mere coincidence: this was a carefully planned attack.
Naturally, I pushed aside my History of Magic papers and began to make a list of suspects. A Hufflepuff would have been my first guess, given how much we love waffles, but then I realized that a Hufflepuff would never steal a waffle – they’d be the one giving them out, not taking them away!
“Come on, think logically,” I told myself. There was a reason I wasn’t a Ravenclaw… But in trying to think logically, I made another realization: whoever stole the waffle had enough of a plan that they must have some level of familiarity with the inside of the Staff Room to know that I would be inside at this hour and also to know the location of the muggle toaster.
Aha! My first step toward finding the waffle thief!
I hastily scrawled down the names of all the Professors, omitting the Hufflepuffs: Rei, Willow, C, Morgan, Isabella, Rae, Carmen, Willow Maid, pel, and Jenna. I then scratched off the names of the Ravenclaws – Isabella, Rae, and Willow Maid – knowing that they could easily find waffles in the Badger and Eagle Zone; wherever Hufflepuffs can be found, so can waffles!
Rei, Willow, C, Morgan, Carmen, pel, and Jenna: the suspects. A little suspicious that five out of the six were Slytherins (or in Slytherin colors)… Did that make Jenna more or less likely to be the culprit?
“I’m getting away from myself here,” I said, shaking my head. I needed to think like a Detective. The suspects’ Hogwarts house didn’t matter – but their motives did! “Think, Rowena, why would someone make a plot to steal your waffles?”
Well, most obviously, it was because I made the best waffles in the castle. But for a premeditated waffle theft… this was beginning to feel more like a prank than anything else! Which of those names would have a reason to prank me?
I then ruled out Willow, Morgan, Carmen, and Jenna, as I didn’t run into them on a regular basis, which left three final suspects: Rei, C, and pel.
Rei was the obvious choice. We had just finished battling it out in the Greenhouses in an intense Hedge-d In practical, ending in my poisoning her with Belladonna! I wouldn’t be surprised if she was trying to cement her victory…
Then there was C. A tricky one, because I would think she’d be too busy running the school to get caught up in a waffle-stealing prank! But I couldn’t forget that I stole those Nifflers from her office back in Year 39… Maybe she thought it was finally time to steal something back.
Last but not least was pel, the lovely graphic designer for the Quibbler. I could think of no reason why she would steal waffles from me, but perhaps that’s exactly why she’d do it – because she knew I wouldn’t suspect her!
Readers of the Quibbler, I am at a loss in this perplexing case – both of who may have stolen my waffles and of my waffles themselves. My stomach rumbles as I think of the alternate reality where I am taking that first bite of the toasted waffle, and it is oh, so perfectly crisp… Who could have stolen such a reality from me? I can not say, but maybe one of you readers with a strong inner detective sense can solve The Case of the Missing Waffles and bring this thief to justice.
Rowena
Riddle
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