Theories of Things: Ep.3
Time Travelling Badgers
Duelling Corner
TheSmartpool vs. Evie Riddle
Winner: TheSmartpool
TheSmartpool vs. Aeri Song
Winner: TheSmartpool
It was a dark and stormy night. Naomi-Jayne was sitting in her office chair when she received a PM from Liam. The title was: “New job, no returns”. Curious, Naomi opened the PM and saw some big gold letters. She thoroughly read those few letters over and over again, unable to process that she had just been appointed Hufflepuff Head of House! The announcement was now up on the notice board and she was now getting owled various congratulation messages. Suddenly, she gasped. She realized that she was going to be in charge of all the swarming Hufflepuffs... She was incredibly unprepared for this and she didn’t want them to rebel under her leadership, or a repeat of Y38...
Liam would unleash his headmastery power on her! After a quick conversation with Kathleen, Naomi’s vault now contained a Sonic Screwdriver. This was the secret of how the Huffles were so well-behaved (most of the time)! It controlled their voice with its power over sound waves. Apparently, it could also electrocute them all, if necessary. Kath had obtained it through a dodgy street vendor in Stoatshead Hill, who went by the name of Linda. Amazed by her new screwdriver, Naomi strolled back to Hogwarts, ready to brainwash some Hufflepuffs. The End!
That’s it for this episode of Theories of Things! I will see you all next issue and remember, I take requests ;) !
-DISCLAIMER- The author would like to add, in case she doesn’t return to the Quibbler or this series, it’s because Linda made her buy 50G worth of Sonic Screwdrivers in return for calling her a dodgy street vendor.
by Eowyn29
Hello loyal readers, and welcome back to the third episode of Theories of Things! It’s time for me to nose into other people’s stuff, and this time, I thought we would do someone special. As you may know, Kathleen recently stepped down as Hufflepuff Head of House, and the role was taken up by Naomi-Jayne. This caused me to think: Hmm... Since Naomi is now the Hufflepuff HoH and I’ve yet to write my article, why not have a look inside her vault? That’ll be fun!
I went to Vault #263, and there were a few Becky-worthy things awaiting me. The first one that caught my eye was (get ready, Dr. Who fans!) the Eleventh Doctor’s Sonic Screwdriver! Bearing in mind that I have never seen Dr. Who, I’m pretty sure it’s about time-traveling and that will be the focus of today’s theory. So, after doing some research about the 11th Doctor and what a “Sonic Screwdriver” is, I've managed to come up with an interesting theory...
Hangman
Getting to Know our Mysterious Headmaster
by Lily Fey
You must have seen him around the castle at some point: William Riddle, our Headmaster. The mean guy who can take away your House Points, give you detentions or, in the worst case, expel you from school. But what does he do apart from intimidating his students? After gathering all my courage, I visited him to ask him some questions.
"Saying where Head ends and another role starts is sometimes tricky!" Liam explains. "I suppose the two things that define it most are site maintenance and co-ordinating the admin team. I'm the go-to person if anything breaks, or someone isn't sure how to do something in the controls, or rules need clarifying, and for final decisions. So quite a bit of tinkering in the settings and guiding others. I look into design and structural improvements, which there's been a lot of lately, including coding. Co-ordinating the team involves (A LOT of) discussion, from everyday goings-on to new rules and plans, also scheduling and prompting for deadlines that need to be met each year such as interim-checkins and setting the gradebook up."
It seems like he could actually be working all those hours that he locks himself up in his Office. But what if he is using it as a distraction to make evil plans? Recruiting an Penguin Army, for example, as many of the Quibbler Crew accuse him of?
Liam denies all charges. "I have nothing to do with penguins, following a traumatic incident when I first became admin; it is others that insist on trying to taunt me with them, and if they have since formed a pack raft, apparently, that's their business. The only army I have is my faithful fan club helping to defend my reputation and good work from the dastardly conspiracies once led by Lara and Jamey, but as I'm here and they had to flee, we can presume my army went home for a well-deserved celebratory roast and has been disbanded."
Our Headmaster refuses to elaborate on this 'traumatic incident', and instead directs us to the Museum and Records Office to discover it. I continued by digging up another old rumour, namely, Liam changing the admin colour to teal because it looks like Slytherin green to him. "I am blind in no ways, remember that but... I definitely needed something more green," he admits.
"My favourite thing about being Headmaster? The responsibility," Liam states. "That can be both positive and negative, but being in charge of this incredible experience with a lot of history, a place that fosters such a happy community, gives me pride and a sense of purpose. To be trusted with something like that, and able to significantly influence its development, is a huge privilege."
However, responsible as he may be, our Headmaster turns out to be a very lazy person, and it seems like he has influenced his admin team. "When apparition first became functional, and I was beset with petitions to allow admin to apparate to their offices even though some of them wanted to fine me for apparating without a licence I heard that muggles have these things called dialling extensions... so I installed apparition extensions (unique number password) to spare our legs."
That concludes this interview with our supposedly innocent, responsible, not colour-blind, lazy Headmaster. By the way, did you know that he is a foilist?
This issue's questions were quite on the serious level and I, your resident advice guru, was hard pressed to find answers; however, I did the best that I could with the limited resources our editor grants us. Anyways... on to your questions, which I'm sure you're itching for answers.
Why does C blame everything on me?
Ah! What an intriguing question, but alas... I have a solution. Instead of allowing someone else to blame you for things, try flipping the script as they like to say... and ask them to turn inwards instead. A lot of good things can come from self-reflection. Unless, of course, you are asking about the letter C, and well then, I have no idea how a letter could be so offensive.
What can one do to be successful on mH?
I'm sure you've heard it time and again.. do your homework, earn those housepoints, try hard to do things by the book, etc etc, but you probably haven't heard the one secret to success, are you ready for it? Come closer... *whispers* Make friends. Friends make your time at Hogwarts and, of course, your time after Hogwarts infinitely better. They soon become your greatest tool on the site. Plus, you'll have someone else to place blame on other than a letter.
Any advice on ways to procrastinate any less?
Don't write for the Quibbler. Just kidding... get a timeturner, of course! Then time will always be your friend.
What are your best ideas to avoid future disease outbreaks? Any spells we should learn?
Spells aren't going to keep you from germs. Run. Run fast, hard, and long. Once you've run a lot, drink water, and run some more.
Thank you to everyone who entered questions this time around... it was fun! Next time, I'll be sure to include how to survive the post-Infinity War blues among other odds and ends I'm sure you'll be asking. If you have any questions for which you are itching for answers to, send them my way via PM or drop them in our "Advice" submission topic in the Newsroom.
As always, this has been unnecessary advice with Nicole, and she approves this message.
unNecessary Advice with Nicole
Summer Camp Craze
by: awesome_forever
Bundles of joy and excitement as Underages wait laboriously and bet on their house. Those sorted join in on the fun and make efforts to guess as well; this is a highlight of Summer Camp and what makes every year more eventful than the prior. Summer Camp for Year 43 was quite eventful, the theme chosen being Dr. Seuss. For many, this was a throwback to their childhood love and for others, this was the introduction to what they missed from the Rhyming Guru.
For one, the Duelling was altered a bit and as hoped, a progressive turn for the better. Likewise to Duelling at Hogwarts, some referees decided to have some entertainment for readers and made their posts in rhyme form and added visuals for those watching and dueling to see the areas that have been hit. I can imagine that this allowed for Duelling to be a more enjoyable activity for many around and motivated them to sign up. Next, the cabins, as always, were filled with many eager faces; those new, those old, and those curious about the site. And of course - all were excited individuals for what was to come. The cabins were a great area where the members of the site were able to converse amongst themselves in the fashion that they were divided in, cabin groups. Many cabins took their own toll and played games while others took a more calm and relaxing route and stuck to chatting, getting to know each other, and giggling about. As always, the Quiz Hut fit into the theme well and was a great location to grab some easy points - if you know your info, that is. This year, many found that the chatting area for each house in the Green Eggs and Ham Cafe was a great success. Some were left wondering how a group can talk so much. ;) The crazy visits from other houses added to the fun, and so did attempts to kick the person out or just accepting them (quite boring, if I must add). The rest of the activities and games in the cafe were great fun and are a majority of one’s Summer Camp experience. Last but not least was the Summer Camp Ball. This is a yearly event, with areas to talk, show up in beautiful outfits, and to play a few games in seclusion. The Dance Floor is also an area in the Ballroom, to cough up many giggles and to lose your shyness with moves to leave people either speechless or cringing.
Ultimately, at the end of Summer Camp, there can only be one cabin as a winner and one cabin solely. Happy Hoppers were last, with a good 248 points. They were passed by LIvely Lorax, who had 317 points and had put up a fight. In front of them were the Gallant Grinches, with 339 points, to be placed by Heartsome Hortons with 419 points. In second place were the Confuzzled Cats wit 496 points; despite them being genetically confused, they didn’t seem to be confused with their goal - getting a lot of cabin points. Finally, the winners of the Summer Camp are not to be forgotten and are the Towering Turtles, with some mere points ahead, 505 points. Good job to all these cabins and points set aside, I as well as the other Organizers hope that you had a lot of fun and made new friends! :)
